We hear it all the time - ‘be happy!’, ‘smile!’, ‘think positive!’, but what does positive thinking really mean, and is it as healthy as people think for us? What if forced positive thinking could actually be having more detrimental effects than positive? The space I create here is to help you feel what you need to feel, whether you’re putting on an ambient playlist or cozying up for the night with a good book under a soft fleece blankets, in my world all emotions are welcome. You are safe here to feel what you need to feel.
Sometimes, though, we do need a helping hand to start feeling positive again. It can be easy to fall into a cycle of negativity and there is power to be had in cultivating a positive attitude and outlook. When we are thinking more positively we tend to be able to see more clearly, think bigger and see more successes come our way. It’s all part of manifestation, if you’re thinking positive thoughts about your life and what you want to achieve, then you’ll be welcoming more positivity into your life. Your thoughts become things, as the saying goes, so to dwell on negative energy and thoughts will only bring more negativity.
Positive thinking
Positive thinking is a way of living that intentionally chooses to focus on the positive side of life. It is, in essence, living in a way that expects the best, not the worst, but is equally as able to see the positive side if things don’t quite work out as expected. Positive thinking is all about being able to master your emotions, something that I know from experience isn’t always easy, but it is something that can be learned.
Growing up, for generations before us, we’ve not been taught how to master our emotions. We’re all raised in households by caretakers, whether it’s parents or not, who have their own emotions and stresses to work through, and who, usually through no bad intention, place their troubles and anxieties in us to carry forward. As such, many of us are not given the guidance needed to face our emotions head-on and this, combined with the messages portrayed in the media of ‘looking on the bright side’ and ‘be happy!’, and the messages we see across social media, leads to generations of people who simply ignore what’s happening inside and, instead, plaster over the true feelings within - the true person within - in order to fit in.
What needs to happen, and what I am passionate about having dealt with my own share of mental health struggles, is teaching people how to conquer their emotions, how to feel what they’re really feeling and how to live a more positive life. This positive life isn’t to ignore the ‘negative’ emotions that we all experience, but to help us recover more quickly and still enjoy the time we have on this earth.
Toxic positivity
Unfortunately, there’s a lot of this around and it is prevalent on social media. A false image portrayed through stories and posts and captions, that belies the truth behind it. We all know that everyone wants to post the best bits, their highlight reel, but the downside to this is for those on the other side who are consuming the happy images and milestone moments, feeling as though they’re not good enough, not happy enough and not being enough.
The thing is, to be positive all the time isn’t healthy. There’s a reason that we, as humans, have a huge range of emotions we can feel at any given moment. Our emotions reveal things to us, they teach us important lessons and they are crucial in giving us balance and perspective. If we were to only ever experience happiness and joy, we would have nothing to compare it to and, therefore, wouldn't even be aware that it was, what we class, a positive thing to feel.
Positive thinking isn’t something that can be used to plaster over the cracks of insecurity, anxiety, stress or deep-rooted emotional issues. If you know that you have inner demons and past experiences to work through, then faking positivity will not only not work for long, it will actually delay your true happiness for longer. I’m a huge advocate of facing your demons and making a concerted effort to create your life the way you want it. From feeling your emotions fully - the wide spectrum that we all get to experience, to creating a beautiful, cozy space in your life to retreat to, to romanticizing your life in a way that allows you to see the magic in each and every day.
What are some ways to start living a ‘think positive’ life?
Changing your mindset from one of negative thinking to positive takes small, daily steps. It’s not realistic that you’ll suddenly go from one extreme to the other, so it’s important to be gentle with yourself if you find that you easily fall back into a negative frame of mind.
Romanticize your life
Too often, we go through our lives on autopilot. Doing the same things over and over, eating the same and feeling the same. One of the benefits that social media has brought to us is that it can inspire us to make the most of even the smallest occasions. Those buddha bowls and smoothies you see on your feed? Why not try making one and taking an extra few moments to snap a picture? You don’t have to share it anywhere, but by slowing down those extra few moments to appreciate what you’ve made, as well as making the effort to make it look beautiful, you’ll be recognizing that your life is worth the time and effort, leaving you feeling more positive and grateful.
Take control of your life
The only thing you can control in life is you. You can’t control what other people will think, say or do and, actually, to do so is a form of controlling behavior. You’ve got to let other people live their own lives, just as you’ve got to live yours.
If something hasn’t worked out the way you want it to, then instead of wallowing in self-pity (although, you’re welcome to do this for a little bit!), reflect on what the experience has taught you, really pay attention to the lessons, and use them to grow as a person. Turn the negatives into positives at any opportunity you get and, I promise, you’ll suddenly start to see there are a lot more than you thought.
Change your mindset
Ok, so it’s not the easiest thing to do but with a little bit of effort you can make some big changes to your mindset. Tools such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) have taught us that we really can rewire our brains. By changing daily habits and thought patterns, little by little, you can actually create new neural pathways that, over time, will lead you to automatically think new, more positive thoughts. It’s a great idea to do this sort of therapy with someone who’s trained in it, but to get you started on your journey there are hundreds of incredible self-help books available which will help you to become more aware of your thought patterns and how to change them.
What will positive thinking do for you?
Imagine waking up every day excited about what’s to come? Imagine being given a challenge to face and knowing that you will be able to handle it? What would be different if you knew you were capable of dealing with situations in your life in a positive way? How would you feel?
Our community is all about sharing our true selves, whilst not always easy, as a way of showing that you’re not alone through difficult times. It’s also a way of helping to show that you have it within you to make changes for the better. From making sure to take the time to relax and recharge, to talking about your feelings in a productive way and taking the first steps to changing your mindset, if you can be inspired to change just one thought about yourself or the world around you from this article, you’ll start to see just how much more you can change if you put your mind to it.
When you begin to think more positively, the world opens up, the opportunities become available to you and you’ll start to see that things begin to fall into place. The most powerful result of positive thinking is held within the law of attraction - manifesting - in helping you to create the life you dream of. The thoughts you are holding on to on a daily basis will be the foundation of what your life is today, so if it’s not what you want it to be then the power is in your hands.
*Read about the most impactful changes you can make to your mindset here